Had my ticket to loserdom stamped shortly after midnight last night. Listening to the “70s on 7″ on the ride home from dinner (which is, of course, a major entrance ramp on the freeway to loserdom), and a song came on that I hadn’t heard in 35+ years, but it instantly transported me to my best friend’s basement-with groovy wood paneling, a built-in aquarium, a train set, a sewing machine, KerPlunk, and a turntable that perpetually spun our favorite album: K-Tel’s Music Express. It was that precise piece of vinyl that resulted in my joining right in last night as Disco Tex & His Sex-o-lettes crooned their mind-numbing single, “Get Dancin.” What a horrifying moment of revelation for my husband, who himself has, shall we say, “questionable” taste in music. Um, The Carpenters, honey? Really???). I can’t even begin to conceive of the important things I might have absorbed over the years had I not devoted a major part of brain cache to the oh-so heartfelt and meaningful lyric, “Doo-dah, doo-dah, doo-dah-dah…doo-dah, doo-dah, doo-dah-dah…get dancin’!”

The beloved album contained 20 tracks, only a few of which would compel us to lift the needle and skip over (most notably Phoebe Snow’s “Poetry Man” and The Ritchie Family’s disco instrumental “Brazil.”) But thanks to K-tel, I can still without hesitation recite the lyrics to such drivel as 10cc’s “I’m Not in Love,” David Geddes’ “Run Joey Run,” and The Captain & Tennille’s “Love Will Keep Us Together” (for which we even choreographed a dance!) in my mid-40s. Particularly after sharing a couple bottles of wine.

Here’s the whole 2-album debacle….how many of these gems do you know?

Album 1

1. Love Will Keep Us Together (The Captain & Tennille)

2. Swearin’ to God (Frankie Valli)

3. Get Down Tonight (KC and the Sunshine Band

4. Philadelphia Freedom (Elton John)

5. Cat’s in the Cradle (Harry Chapin)

6. Mandy (Barry Manilow)

7. I’m Not in Love (10cc)

8. Poetry Man (Phoebe Snow)

9. Chevy Van (Sammy Johns)

10. Run Joey Run (David Geddes)

Album 2

1. Rocky (Austin Roberts)

2. Jackie Blue (Ozark Mountain Daredevils)

3. The Rockford Files (Mike Post)

4. Sky High (Jigsaw)

5. Brazil (The Ritchie Family)

6. Get Dancin’ (Disco Tex & His Sex-o-lettes)

7. Long Train Runnin’ (The Doobie Brothers)

8. My Eyes Adored You (Frankie Valli)

9. Dynomite (Tony Camillo’s Bazuka)

10. Black Superman-Muhammad Ali (Johnny Wakelin & The Kinshasa Band)

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