So here’s my question: What happens when the last hopeful girl on earth to provide cheer, encouragement, optimism and compassionate advice just ain’t feelin’ it no more? When the mood of the country has plunged so deep into the abyss that she can’t muster
the energy to be the ray of sunshine so many people count on? When she’d rather just stay inside the blithe and peaceful home she’s created than get swallowed into the angry, depressing underbelly of the world outside her windows? Because it’s happened, kids. My glass has officially dipped below half-full. The last upbeat optimist has left the building.
If you have any brilliant solutions or advice for me, would you kindly let me know? (Perhaps I should rephrase that for the masses: Hey, if U gots a idea 4 me, get ur hed outta ur a$$ & gimme a friggin heds up, b*tch!) Because for the first time in my life, I am running on empty. I’m at a complete loss. Yes, she who can usually find the silver lining in any situation has run out of silver linings. And there’s no one left for me to turn to. Frankly, it’s a miracle I’ve been able to maintain a cheery disposition for this long, focusing on the good and inspiring stuff that happens under my own roof – all magically without the aid of mood enhancers. But even with everything that I’m grateful for in my life (and that’s a lot), enough cultural sludge has seeped through the fence that it has officially poisoned my perpetually rosy garden.
How can it not, when this is our world:
- There’s not a trace of civility or kindness anywhere. I must’ve missed the memo that said, “Be snippy, be ignorant, be nasty, pay no attention to the humans in the same room as you – and whatever you do, under no circumstances should you ever, ever smile.”
- Language has devolved into an offensive mix of profanity and absurdity. Why even bother to talk to anyone anymore when a snide, misspelled text or tweet will do?
- The prevalence and depth of stupidity is staggering. People speak like idiots, they don’t read, they have no idea what’s going on in the world. They can’t figure out how to do anything without dumbed-down step-by-steps. They take the word of their chosen celebrity idol and don’t bother to think for themselves. Can you say herd mentality?
- Incompetence is ubiquitous. Just walk out your front door and within mere minutes, it’ll smack you upside da head.
- No one gives a rat’s fat keister about anybody, or, really, anything.
- Snarkiness is currency. The more clever-angry you are, the brighter your star shines. A witty insult is a terrible thing to waste.
- Slovenliness is apparently next to godliness, particularly when it comes to style. Pants hang down around the knees, underwear sticks out, teenage girls skank it up like hos, and adults who should know better don’t feel a modicum of obligation to dress appropriately for the venue or occasion.
- Disrespect is rampant. Toward other people. For property. For other people’s time. For our country.
- No one takes responsibility; everyone automatically advances to the lightning round of the blame game.
- It’s totally cool to complain endlessly and not propose a solution. Fill up the time-space continuum with hot air. And if you can manage to inject some biting sarcasm, more power to ya.
- There’s nothing that’s not divisive-including the place we go to worship, which is deeply divided and palpably alienating. There’s not even a spiritual calm in the storm.
- Outrageous behavior is celebrated and rewarded. We’re treated to, what, over 200 channels of 24/7 jackassery? Awesome.
- Controversy is the name of the game.
- There’s no such thing as going “above and beyond.” Why bother when it’s perfectly adequate to get away with doing as little as humanly possible without being called out?
- Anything without edginess or sexiness is scoffed at. Flash over substance any day of the week.
- Got a commitment or obligation that you don’t feel like honoring? Eh, screw it. Just blow it off. Somewhere in the fine print, doesn’t the Constitution say that everybody has the right to abandon anything that doesn’t give them instant gratification?
- You can find manners underneath that manual Smith-Corona and those yellow phone books in the dumpster behind your local Walmart.
- It’s encouraged – rather, championed – to mock or bash people who have a different perspective. If you don’t like someone, start name-calling. “Hypocrite” is always an outstanding choice, followed closely by “liar” and “dumbass.” Get your friends to join in. And you’ll all receive bonus points if you can manage to mainstream someone’s actual given name to imply villainism.
- Sassiness is the new black for tweenage girls. It’s all the rage on the runway this decade.
- No one stops to listen, they just keep yelling incessantly over everybody else. Forget about, “He who rants loudest, rants best.” More like, “He who rants the longest wins.”
- Courtesy and politeness get you nowhere. Being obnoxious and in-your-face is the only way to get things done. Outbursts and tantrums are especially effective.
- There’s no need to be grateful for the things you have; it’s a better use of time to bitch about the stuff you feel entitled to, but don’t have.
- Character? Bwahahahahaha!
Is it any wonder why cynicism has overtaken my cheery optimism? I kept my finger in the dyke as long as I could, but not even my whole hand can keep this flood at bay any longer. I was silly enough to think that the way I run my happy, successful household could possibly be a model for changing the tone and culture of our country for the better. I wanted to be part of the solution. And instead I’m ridiculed and marginalized. Shamelessly disregarded. Because I’m a dork. Not edgy. Out of touch. Mocked by the cool table in the cafeteria. Which is all fine by me, but to quote the Rocket Man, “It’s lonely out in space.”
So, you know what? I throw up my hands. I’m finally joining the rest of the world in not giving a crap anymore. I’m done. Taking no prisoners, baby. I’m sure that will make someone somewhere ecstatic to hear. Now that the last cockeyed optimist has given up, it should lend proof to the 75% of Americans who think the country’s “on the wrong track” that we’re not simply heading in the wrong direction. We’ve officially fallen off the cliff.
And to apply the premise of this post, I’m sure the two of you who have made it all the way to the end don’t give a rodent’s patootie what I think. (But, whew, I feel a lot better putting this “I No Longer Care Manifesto” into words.) Share a comment below or don’t – I really couldn’t care less.
Andrea!!!! What gives HoneyPie??? I hate to see you so gloomy! So many good things out there to celebrate!! Yes, lots of a-holes everywhere, but also incredible people doing amazing things – like YOU, for example. Do I need to drive on up there and give you a big ‘ol hug???? xxoo
Awww, I will always take a hug! But I’ve really been pushed to the boiling point lately. Can’t turn on the TV because everybody’s got an agenda or is just plain stupid, and I can’t escape the ferociously angry people I come across in real life who are outraged with where we are as a country…and I don’t exactly live in a hotbed of conservativism, so that says a lot about how far askew people think the country has gone (not even politically, but more culturally). Went to 2 meetings with people I don’t know well last Friday…both people turned the conversation into venting sessions about the pathetic state of the country and how we have few solutions. I left them and walked down Greenwich Aveue, where 2 people were having a long discussion on the sidewalk about what’s wrong with the country and who’s the best available choice to fix it. In restaurants it’s all you overhear. In the hair salon. In the furniture store. Everywhere. There’s no relief, and it’s only going to get worse over the next 12 months. I have never, ever seen this level of anger. And at some point, I feel helpless because I *KNOW* I’m kicking ass raising 4 great boys who, at this rate, will have no country and no jobs. So what’s the point? And why should I bother having the courtesy to be civil and thoughtful when no one else is?
Hope this helps restore your optimism my response to each of your points.
There’s not a trace of civility or kindness anywhere. I must’ve missed the memo that said, “Be snippy, be ignorant, be nasty, pay no attention to the humans in the same room as you – and whatever you do, under no circumstances should you ever, ever smile.”
I would disagree. Civility and kindness exist in abundance, if the people in the same room as you are not kind or civil, move to another room or take a deep breath eventually people who misbehave catch themselves and correct the problem
Language has devolved into an offensive mix of profanity and absurdity. Why even bother to talk to anyone anymore when a snide, misspelled text or tweet will do?
I agree on this one… thank god for a good old fashioned hand written letter or phone call even more valued today than in years past.
The prevalence and depth of stupidity is staggering. People speak like idiots, they don’t read, they have no idea what’s going on in the world. They can’t figure out how to do anything without dumbed-down step-by-steps. They take the word of their chosen celebrity idol and don’t bother to think for themselves. Can you say herd mentality?
The herd mentality has always prevailed fortunately individuals leave the herd before it plunges off the cliff.
Incompetence is ubiquitous. Just walk out your front door and within mere minutes, it’ll smack you upside da head.
Stupidity has never been in short supply but I will concede that until recently it was never exalted or celebrated as it is today.
No one gives a rat’s fat keister about anybody, or, really, anything.
Absolutely wrong. You would not have written these concerns if you didn’t care about more than yourself.
Snarkiness is currency. The more clever-angry you are, the brighter your star shines. A witty insult is a terrible thing to waste.
Sadly true, this coincides with the cultures eagerness to celebrate stupidity. Integrity is strengthened when we resist the urge to “snark”.
Slovenliness is apparently next to godliness, particularly when it comes to style. Pants hang down around the knees, underwear sticks out, teenage girls skank it up like hos, and adults who should know better don’t feel a modicum of obligation to dress appropriately for the venue or event.
We can fix this by refusing to support establishments which cater to slovenliness.
Disrespect is rampant. Toward other people. For property. For other people’s time. For our country.
The United States remains man kinds best hope, it is hard to be respectful of those who feel otherwise but genuine respect for yourself and others is a must. Of course when someone is disrespectful it is appropriate to either point this out calmly to them or to leave them to wallow in their foolishness.
No one takes responsibility; everyone automatically advances to the lightning round of the blame game.
Human nature so sometimes it’s best to strive to be better than human.
It’s totally cool to complain endlessly and not propose a solution. Fill up the time-space continuum with hot air. And if you can manage to inject some biting sarcasm, more power to ya.
See the above responses please.
There’s nothing that’s not divisive-including the place we go to worship, which is deeply divided and palpably alienating. There’s not even a spiritual calm in the storm.
There is Calm in the storm… the still small voice within.
Outrageous behavior is celebrated and rewarded. We’re treated to, what, over 200 channels of 24/7 jackassery? Awesome.
Thank god we can turn off the 200 channels of Jackassery and spend time with people we love.
Controversy is the name of the game.
Yes it is but when you turn off the 200 channels you will find the world is not as addicted to controversy as it appears.
There’s no such thing as going “above and beyond.” Why bother when it’s perfectly adequate to get away with doing as little as humanly possible without being called out?
Because the reward is doing the right thing regardless of the response from others.
Anything without edginess or sexiness is scoffed at. Flash over substance any day of the week.
Read To Kill a Mockingbird or some other terrific book. Substance never goes out of style.
Got a commitment or obligation that you don’t feel like honoring? Eh, screw it. Just blow it off. Somewhere in the fine print, doesn’t the Constitution say that everybody has the right to abandon anything that doesn’t give them instant gratification?
Carry a copy of the US Constitution with you, I do. Point out to people acting like this that the Constitution does not grant them this privilege.
You can find manners underneath that manual Smith-Corona and those yellow phone books in the dumpster behind your local Walmart.
Kill them with kindness.
It’s encouraged – rather, championed – to mock or bash people who have a different perspective. If you don’t like someone, start name-calling. “Hypocrite” is always an outstanding choice, followed closely by “liar” and “dumbass.” Get your friends to join in. And you’ll all receive bonus points if you can manage to mainstream someone’s actual given name to imply villainism.
Do not give these people any of your time.
Sassiness is the new black for tweenage girls. It’s all the rage on the runway this decade.
Sassy, when appropriate can be fun.
No one stops to listen, they just keep yelling incessantly over everybody else. Forget about, “He who rants loudest, rants best.” More like, “He who rants the longest wins.”
If you like quiet seek quiet.
Courtesy and politeness get you nowhere. Being obnoxious and in-your-face is the only way to get things done. Outbursts and tantrums are especially effective.
Ignoring a tantrum can work wonders.
There’s no need to be grateful for the things you have; it’s a better use of time to bitch about the stuff you feel entitled to, but don’t have.
Always be grateful, God will appreciate it.
Character? Bwahahahahaha!
Character comes from within not without.
Wow. I can’t begin to thank you for taking the time to share your words of wisdom, my friend. You have truly made me feel so much better. I have been simmering with frustration that there seems to be no escape from the incredible outrage that abounds everywhere I go, but you are right that I have the power to create quiet and peacefulness for myself. I do savor every single delicious moment with my gang, and am so grateful for the life I’m privileged to lead with this wonderful family. That’s what it’s all about. I am also blessed to be surrounded by people like you who are smart, sensible and caring. So genuinely glad to call you my friend, Adam! 🙂
Hi Andrea, as I’ve told you before, I LOVE your blog, writing, insights, inspiration, advice, etc and look forward to your different posts! I hope you’ll continue “doing what you’re doing” because it DOES make a difference!!!!! 🙂
Thank you so much, Michelle. I can’t even imagine how different the world would be if more people ascribed to our positive world view, can you? I always appreciate your encouragement and support!