Seeking seamstress skilled in stitching flesh wounds to be on call for two wacky families with a total of eight boys, ages 4 – 14. Job split between Westport, CT and Needham, MA. Love of twins required. Experience hemming jeans a plus.

Sweartogod. We wound up at the doctors’ office this morning with Zack, who had reached into his drawer to grab hair gel and was attacked by a ferocious razor that apparently had a score to settle. He didn’t tell anyone, self-treated with a band-aid, and merrily went off to school. I got a call from the school nurse less than an hour later that he had cut himself – at home – and needed stitches. Oh look – DING-DONG! – there’s DCF at my front door now! She had bandaged him up so tight he looked like a foam finger come to life:

WOO-HOO! We’re #1!

The most charming part was the dried blood on the rubber tip of his Chuck Taylors. Must’ve been quite a lovely hemorrhaging sight as he arrived at the nurse’s office. He finally admitted it wasn’t just a “little nick” like he had originally thought, although thankfully it didn’t hurt at all.

Four stitches and a Starbucks hot chocolate later, he’s good as new and back at school. All in a day’s work!

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